Thank you so much for your response. I know logically that passing is stupid and the point of transitioning isn't to adhere to cis ideals, but since I pass like 75% of the time, I just want to know if people who might be interested in me see me as an ugly girl or a pretty guy, I guess lol. I know I shouldn't be concerned, but it just feels like I've trapped myself into not experiencing my youth, if that makes sense.
I know that I'll be at peace with myself, and I've been working on that more recently, but on the other hand I still have these feelings. Thanks again for all your wise words!! :)
Many feminists and anyone else who doesn’t like to depilate have major beef with Nair. It’s understandable, honestly, as it’s been used as a tool of oppression for years in order to pressure women into conforming to completely unrealistic beauty standards. Personally, as a nonbinary transfemme person, nothing brings me greater joy than feeling like a wet seal all over my body, but this isn’t about me. If you have some Nair lying around that you don’t know what to do with, here are some fun uses that will change your life.
Recently, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic when I’ve had tons of time on my hands (for better or usually for worse), I’ve been thinking about how being trans messes up my perception of other people. Usually, the thoughts tend to focus on me and how I compare to other girls. Of course, this has to do a lot with beauty standards that are unrealistic for all girls, cis or trans. Regardless, when the only people you see are glamorous celebrities on Instagram, posing smooth and toned in luminous, glimmery spaces, you lose touch with what the average person looks like.
…
“Givers need to learn their limits, because takers have none.”
Usually these kinds of middle-aged Facebook mom-type posts on social media don’t provoke anything in me except an eye roll or reflexive scoff to myself when my mom sends them to me, as if I needed to laugh for her sake when she’s miles away.
This time though, I saw it on my Instagram feed, and it literally hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve done my fair share of taking, but the majority of my life I’ve minimized myself for the sake of others, serving as their doormat…
I almost feel guilty writing this since I’m actually extremely lucky to be in the situation I’m in. My family (or at least everyone in it who matters) respects my pronouns and my medical/social transition. I’m not berated or discouraged when I wear or do things outside of what they’d expect of someone of my assigned gender. Like everyone else, though, they have their… moments. Usually, it’s just a pronoun slip-up, but sometimes it’s worse. For example, my mom was telling a story and used my old pronouns because “that’s what [I was] at the time.” …
I know that the answer is going to be “yes,” but if you’re trans and reading this, have you ever just looked back on your life and been like, “Ohhhh that thing I did makes way more sense now knowing that I’m trans.” For some of us, I know that the memories that made the most impact gender-wise can be traumatic and therefore closed off to the brain.
However, there are so many mundane events that made me think, “Why didn’t I realize this earlier??” I’ve seen plenty of people talk about this, but the consequences of it are much…
While scrolling on Twitter and TikTok, the number of comments I’ve seen that are hyping up trans people makes me incredibly happy. However, for all the lovely, overenthusiastic allies, there tends to be a trend of over-validation of trans people’s identities. That, or the infantilization of trans people under the guise of being positive and supportive. While this is way better than seeing hordes and scores of comments with a bunch of openly transphobic garbage, these types of comments can feel anywhere from awkward to alienating.
What does this mean, anyway? Over-validation in these cases is the unnecessary inclusion of…
Dear Beard,
We’ve been through quite a lot together, haven’t we? And by that, I mean you put me through a lot, haven’t you? Quite the relentless bully you are, sticking to me and imposing your power onto me. I was lucky, too, and I didn’t even know it. You didn’t start coming around until I was about 20. I almost thought you’d never show up, and as a high school student that crushed me. Little did I know, me wanting leg hair and other body hair was just a coping mechanism, and I really wanted nothing more than to…
As you probably already know, some Trump-supporting individuals have decided to storm the Capitol. There’s a lot of talk about how this is incredibly un-American and against the principles of American democracy, but it’s really anything but. The only way this could have happened is if the system was designed to allow these people to openly and freely express their opinions and engender violent political actions. These people are not the product of anti-patriotism, but the result of deep and insidious American ideologies fermenting.
We need to stop conflating “moral” with “American.” So often, our politicians, friends, and authorities will…
random nonbinary thoughts.