What’s really gay about straight men dating trans women

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I find this discourse to be a repugnant dismissal of the definition of woman.

A real woman is biologically female, and anything otherwise would be a blatant transgression upon wombyns’ rights and the institution of heterosexuality, as well as other sexualities.

I find it —

— ok, now that the terfs have clicked this link and given me some coin, I wanted to actually talk about why I feel that the heterosexuality of straight relationships with trans women is very precarious and peculiar. Yes, this title is clickbait. …


Thanks for responding!! I completely get it- gender is both the biggest scam/lie there is and also one of the most internal and core feelings that there is... it's so weird. I hope you figure it out more if that's what you want, but there's nothing wrong with embracing masculinity as a trans woman! :)


Ramblings about Oppositional Self-definition as a Nonbinary Person

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I know that I’m not a man. I know that I’m not a woman. But what am I?

This is the question that often plagues people who come out as NB (nonbinary) at one time or another. It can barge in forcefully, shaking all the pictures and dirtying the floor, rattling the foundations. Or, it can slide in sneakily, like an art thief in the night. When we go to see if something is wrong, it just looks like another mannequin in an exhibit. We know that something is off, but we can’t put our finger on it. …


Trans people are in a Catch-22.

I’m feeling argumentative today, so I wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind recently. In my humble experience in the digital and real world, a complaint about trans people that I’ve seen is that we enforce harmful gender stereotypes by aspiring to embody the epitome of outdated gender stereotypes. Basically, they’re saying that all trans women want to be big-boobed bimbos and that all trans men watch Wolf of Wall Street once and think “Yeah… yeah that’s what I want.”

Photo by Eric Nopanen on Unsplash

What’s insinuated here is that by going against gender stereotypes, we’re… playing into gender stereotypes? By “becoming”…


Thank you so much for reading and for your response!! Covid has not been kind with social/romantic stuff.... but anyway, if you write a response to this, I'd love to see it!! :)


The comorbidity of transness and solitude.

Photo by Justin Novello on Unsplash

“I just don’t want you to be lonely,” my father says to me after I come out to him for the 5th time. Well, it wasn’t right after, but it was the caboose of the cis train of thought that came barreling out of his mouth. First, it was concerns about my body, what surgeries I was considering, whether I wanted hormones, what changes hormones would even bring, etc. Then, he moved onto the emotional aspect. He was worried that it hampered my social life, cutting me out of circles I hadn’t even joined yet. It would cause trouble at…


Thank you so much for your response. I know logically that passing is stupid and the point of transitioning isn't to adhere to cis ideals, but since I pass like 75% of the time, I just want to know if people who might be interested in me see me as an ugly girl or a pretty guy, I guess lol. I know I shouldn't be concerned, but it just feels like I've trapped myself into not experiencing my youth, if that makes sense.

I know that I'll be at peace with myself, and I've been working on that more recently, but on the other hand I still have these feelings. Thanks again for all your wise words!! :)


The miracle product that will improve every aspect of your life.

Photo by Alex Azabache on Unsplash

Many feminists and anyone else who doesn’t like to depilate have major beef with Nair. It’s understandable, honestly, as it’s been used as a tool of oppression for years in order to pressure women into conforming to completely unrealistic beauty standards. Personally, as a nonbinary transfemme person, nothing brings me greater joy than feeling like a wet seal all over my body, but this isn’t about me. If you have some Nair lying around that you don’t know what to do with, here are some fun uses that will change your life.

  1. Salad Dressing


Why am I feeling dysphoric for other people?

Recently, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic when I’ve had tons of time on my hands (for better or usually for worse), I’ve been thinking about how being trans messes up my perception of other people. Usually, the thoughts tend to focus on me and how I compare to other girls. Of course, this has to do a lot with beauty standards that are unrealistic for all girls, cis or trans. Regardless, when the only people you see are glamorous celebrities on Instagram, posing smooth and toned in luminous, glimmery spaces, you lose touch with what the average person looks like.


How to balance selflessness with self-prioritization.

“Givers need to learn their limits, because takers have none.”

Usually these kinds of middle-aged Facebook mom-type posts on social media don’t provoke anything in me except an eye roll or reflexive scoff to myself when my mom sends them to me, as if I needed to laugh for her sake when she’s miles away.

This time though, I saw it on my Instagram feed, and it literally hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve done my fair share of taking, but the majority of my life I’ve minimized myself for the sake of others, serving as their doormat…

Stella Luna (they/she?)

random nonbinary thoughts.

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